I thought I would start off my fabulous blog by including a blog from my myspace account! It's a ramble and rant about the crazies at work! Hehe.....
Chip Man!
So as promised, now that it is Tuesday and I'm in a better mood I will tell the tale of Chip man!
Okay, so Hull, and more specifically Promenade du Portage, are localities of weirdness...So far working here I have come across the most random and odd people. My favourite being chip man.
Chip man is overweight and middle aged, and like most weirdos, he has very shifty eyes. Everyday at about 10:30am chip man heads out to the lobby of my building and sets himself up at a bench and then precedes to arrange an assortment of junkfood around him. Just imagine how the Price is Right would arrange a prize showcase, and this is how chipman arranges his food. Next to him he places three large bags of chips and then in front he places a box of vachon cakes, two 2litres of RC cola, and then some twizzlers. Now he starts with the chips and then eats some cakes and twizzlers, and chugs cola the whole time, and he continues this process until everything is depleted. This takes about an hour...and while he's eating he stares down government employees with gobs of cake and chips in his mouth! My co-worker and I play a game to see who can maintain eye contact with him the longest, I always lose, I just don't have the stomach for it...
Another favourite weirdo of mine is happy elf man. Elf man does not have a regular routine, but occasionally you can find him sitting at the Tim Hortons. The reason I have dubbed him Elf Man, is because he wears a bright red sweatshirt, and a red and green elf's hat with bells! Now I call him "happy", but in actuality he is the surliest creature ever known to mankind, if you come too close he will start to mutter and spit, and the bells on his hat will jangle as he shakes his head and turns red!
So these are some of the faces of my day...Part of me wonders if these people are the shells of former government employees that went off their rockers cause they were sick of editing power point presentations for the 50th time! If I lose it, I want to be a crazy cracked out hooker...walk around with ripped fishnets and a pleather skin tight dress that doesn't cover my ass, so as always I'm flashing my crack to the world! And I'll walk around yelling at the nicely dressed female employees calling them whores and sluts, and I'll randomly throw myself at men and attempt to slam my tongue into their ears!
Anyways....yeah....I should stop this little weird ramble now...I might be losing my mind already!
Chip Man!
So as promised, now that it is Tuesday and I'm in a better mood I will tell the tale of Chip man!
Okay, so Hull, and more specifically Promenade du Portage, are localities of weirdness...So far working here I have come across the most random and odd people. My favourite being chip man.
Chip man is overweight and middle aged, and like most weirdos, he has very shifty eyes. Everyday at about 10:30am chip man heads out to the lobby of my building and sets himself up at a bench and then precedes to arrange an assortment of junkfood around him. Just imagine how the Price is Right would arrange a prize showcase, and this is how chipman arranges his food. Next to him he places three large bags of chips and then in front he places a box of vachon cakes, two 2litres of RC cola, and then some twizzlers. Now he starts with the chips and then eats some cakes and twizzlers, and chugs cola the whole time, and he continues this process until everything is depleted. This takes about an hour...and while he's eating he stares down government employees with gobs of cake and chips in his mouth! My co-worker and I play a game to see who can maintain eye contact with him the longest, I always lose, I just don't have the stomach for it...
Another favourite weirdo of mine is happy elf man. Elf man does not have a regular routine, but occasionally you can find him sitting at the Tim Hortons. The reason I have dubbed him Elf Man, is because he wears a bright red sweatshirt, and a red and green elf's hat with bells! Now I call him "happy", but in actuality he is the surliest creature ever known to mankind, if you come too close he will start to mutter and spit, and the bells on his hat will jangle as he shakes his head and turns red!
So these are some of the faces of my day...Part of me wonders if these people are the shells of former government employees that went off their rockers cause they were sick of editing power point presentations for the 50th time! If I lose it, I want to be a crazy cracked out hooker...walk around with ripped fishnets and a pleather skin tight dress that doesn't cover my ass, so as always I'm flashing my crack to the world! And I'll walk around yelling at the nicely dressed female employees calling them whores and sluts, and I'll randomly throw myself at men and attempt to slam my tongue into their ears!
Anyways....yeah....I should stop this little weird ramble now...I might be losing my mind already!
posted by Dow at 6:59 AM
3 Comments:
Tips for office fun:
Make sure you raid the communal fridge and pour random things down the sink in the break room, so Jane R. and Liz P. can bitch it out over who stole their coffee cream.
Start a rumour that Julie from human resources is banging the boss and that Fred from accounting likes to photocopy his ass. It does not not matter if these people/departments do not exist. Just sit back and watch your gossip bag co-workers lament these tidbits over the water cooler.
And for god's sake, hide Chip's food on him, or at least stick your used gum in the coin slot at the vending machines and watch the madness begin.
Enjoy!
dude, from one government cog to another, i can totally sympathize with your fear of turning into the weirdos you are faced with. right across the street from my work is a park with a big fountain, and nuthin attracts freaks like water, it seems. as i walk to and from work through the park, i am always seeing weirdos and hoping that i don't end up like them, and yet also secretly commiserating with their insanity. Down with spreadsheets!!!
Gill! Man I haven't talked to you in ages, we have to get together soon, and a belated happy birthday to you!! And yes down with spreadsheets, and most importantly decks and briefing notes, they can eat it!
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